Blank Space
by xoxSmudgexox
Summary: Yaoi. After Jean and Erwin are killed in action during a deployment to Afghanistan, their spouses Levi and Armin find that grieving together is better than grieving alone. Their loss brings the two closer and creates a bond that fills the blank space in their hearts they never thought would be filled again.


**Warning: IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI (BOY/BOY) DO NOT READ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

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><p><strong>Title: Blank Space<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of the characters.<strong>  
><strong>Rated: T (Language)<strong>  
><strong>Pairings: LeviArmin, Jean/Armin, Erwin/Levi**

**Summary**: After Jean and Erwin are killed in action during a deployment to Afghanistan, their spouses Levi and Armin find that grieving together is better than grieving alone. Their loss brings the two closer and creates a bond that fills the blank space in their hearts they never thought would be filled again.

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><p><em>Chapter 1<em>

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><p><em>September 2014/ Present_

Raindrops poured down heavily onto Armin Arlert's umbrella as he stood in the middle of the Shigansha Cemetery, staring at the wooden casket that hovered over the 6 foot hole below it. His fingers tightened around the cold metal handle as the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground and the voice of the priest who stood beside him began to sing the soft melody of Amazing Grace. Armin could only stare while tears ran down his cheeks as he watched the love of his life drift lower and lower into the ground.

This can't be happening… I have to be having a nightmare... Armin squeezed his eyes shut as the rifles went off from the Army's funeral detail. He couldn't believe this was actually happening to him. He never thought he was one of "those people." Those people that bad things happened to for no reason at all.

His crystal blue eyes slowly opened, his vision blurred by the tears. He blinked them away as he turned to stare at the engraved stone that stood proudly at the head of the grave.

_Jean Kirstein_  
><em>1980 - 2014<em>  
><em>Loving Husband, Soldier, and Brother<em>  
><em>Never Forgotten<em>

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><p><em>August 2007/_

_Armin scraped at the scrambled eggs in the frying pan as he moved them to the side a bit, tossing in a few sausage links next to them. It was Saturday morning, and since he didn't have to work, he decided he'd wake up earlier and make breakfast for his boyfriend. It was their one year anniversary of the day they'd met and he wanted to surprise him._

_Armin gasped as he felt arms wrap around his waist and a warm breath tickled his neck. "Mmm, smells good," Jean whispered, planting featherlight kisses across the side of Armin's neck. "What are you doing up so early?"_

_The blonde giggled at the gentle kisses as he sprinkled cheese over the eggs before flipping them again. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed!" Armin turned to glance at the man who was resting his head on the blonde's shoulder. "You do know what today is, right?"_

_Jean cocked his eyebrow in curiosity. "Theeee… first Saturday we both have off in months?"_

_"Well… Yes. Aaand?" Armin said, setting the spatula down so he could turn and face his boyfriend. Had Jean really forgotten the day they first met? Was this seriously something every man in the world forgot except Armin? He crossed his arms and pouted a bit as Jean took a step back, scratching his neck as if in thought._

_"It's… your… birthday?" When Armin threw his hands onto his hips, Jean let out the laugh he had been holding in, shoving his hand in this pocket. "I'm just kidding, of course I know what today is." He leaned over Armin and shut off the stove with his free hand before pulling a small velvety blue box out of his pants pocket with the other._

_"Today is exactly one year since we met right?" Jean grinned devilishly as he watched Armin's irritated gaze drop to the object in his hand. The blonde stared in confusion, glancing back up at Jean's face as the man grabbed his hand and kissed it gently before kneeling down in front of him._

_Armin clamped a hand over his mouth as his face turned red and tears began to well up in his eyes._

_"Why don't we make it the first day of the rest of our lives instead?" Jean said softly as he opened the small box._

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><p><em>September 2014/_

Armin smiled sadly as he stared down at his wedding ring. He'd told Jean they obviously couldn't get married. There were laws against gay couples marrying, especially in the military. But Jean didn't care.

_"Why do we need a certificate to prove what we have is real?" Jean had said, and Armin agreed._

He was surprised that Jean had bought him such a huge diamond ring, though he did love it. Armin had to admit that he was somewhat girly.

The Army's band that stood on the other side of the grave played a slow tune in sync with the priest and it made Armin's heart wrench painfully. He could hear sniffles from the crowd and the loud, awful cries from Jean's mother while Jean's father held her upright to keep her from falling into the mud below them. They stood at the far end of the group away from him.

Jean's mother had never liked Armin. Maybe it was because he was a guy. Or maybe it was because she didn't approve of their relationship, causing Jean to cut her out of his life completely.

_"You know you can't just ignore her... She's your mom. Try to have a good relationship with her, please?" Armin had begged. He didn't want to be the reason why Jean broke off ties with his family. Family was important to have, especially in Jean's occupation. It was always good to have support from your family._

_Jean just smiled and shook his head, taking Armin's hand into his and kissing it gently, "I love you. So she should love you too. And if she doesn't see how happy you make me, then why should I invite that kind of negativity in my life? You're my life now."_

The group of people that had come to the funeral began to disperse slowly, but Armin stayed put, watching as the grave keepers began to shovel dirt into the hole.

"I'm sorry for your loss, my son." The priest gave Armin's shoulder a squeeze before turning to leave as well.

It was a loss. An enormous loss that left what felt like a hole in Armin's chest that would never be filled again. Butterflies in his stomach grew stronger with each scoop of dirt that fell against the quickly disappearing coffin and it took everything inside the blonde to not fall to his knees right there in the mud and break down completely.

"Armin?" His friends Eren and Mikasa came to his side, wrapping their arms around him but he shrugged them off. He didn't mean to be rude, but he didn't want to be touched right now. Or talked to. He wiped his tears away and cast his gaze downward, ignoring their looks of pity. That was something he didn't need, he just wanted to be left alone.

"We're going to leave now… Do you want us to leave you here alone?" Mikasa asked, reaching out for his arm again but stopping mid reach, shoving her hand in her pocket instead.

"Please." Armin whispered, closing his eyes as he tried to keep it together.

Eren and Mikasa looked at each other before sighing quietly, turning away to leave.

Armin stood there for hours as the rain continued to come down. The grave had been filled and everyone was gone except him now. The arm that held his umbrella fell loosely to his side and the umbrella slipped from his grip, making a soft splashing sound as it landed in the muddy puddle at his feet.

This was it. Jean was gone. Really gone. He was never going to see him again. At least he didn't have any bad thoughts of their last words, since the last thing he said to him over the phone was "I love you baby, be safe." Be safe… Why couldn't Jean had just been safe like he had said?

"Just be safe…" Armin sobbed heavily, "How hard is it… to just be safe…"

Finally giving in, he fell to the ground and screamed with everything he had in him.

-To be continued-


End file.
